Monday, August 11, 2014

#TERFweek


This is a post for anyone wondering what the heck is going on with the #TERFweek thing on Twitter.

First of all, what is a TERF?

Ostensibly, this acronym stands for "trans exclusionary radical feminist."

In reality, it is applied to anyone who:

1) Recognizes the difference in potential reproductive role between women and men;
2) Recognizes that men weaponize this difference to oppress women (we call this "sexism"); and
3) Thinks women should be allowed to discuss #1 & #2.

If you don't believe me, simply try tweeting "penis is male" or "women are oppressed based on their female reproductive systems," tag it #TERFweek, and see what happens.

Second, what is the label TERF used to *accomplish*?

Sarah Ditum already wrote an excellent piece about how TERF works to silence and separate women.

"TERF" also works to support the ideological totalism of transgender identity politics by enabling believers in "gender identity" to dismiss non-believers as subhuman, and thus excuse violent rhetoric - again, meant to silence - against anyone who meets the above definition:















Do not use the term TERF. Be wary of anyone who does.


*Analysis here: The New Backlash

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Category "Woman"


There's a lot of talk these days about the social category woman versus the biological category woman.

Historically, in feminist theory, this categorical separation is done in order to demonstrate that femininity (submissiveness to/dependency upon males) is not a natural outcome of femaleness, but is instead a stereotypical role forced upon female humans from conception, in order to facilitate male supremacy ("patriarchy.")

This stereotypical role is built upon a sexist interpretation of our physical reality - we are capable of gestating fetuses, giving birth and breastfeeding, and thus must fulfill this role and only this role of creating and nurturing others; furthermore, not only does the power to create human life supposedly mean we exist only to take care of others, but in the fundamental patriarchal reversal, this power is framed as weakness - to mean we cannot take care of ourselves. Therefore, we must attract and keep a man to protect and provide for us; therefore we must depend upon, and serve, men.

It is at the AND THUS in the above paragraph that feminists say NO. Because the female capability to bring new life into the world is both undeniable (every single human who ever lived came into existence via a woman's body) and un-shameful (creating new life is not all women can do, nor are all women bound to do it, nor does this capability to create others mean we cannot provide for ourselves.)

This separation between female reproductive capacity and feminine social role is done in order to show that how men wish to view women - as their mothers, wives, servants and whores - as human beings wholly defined by our usefulness to them - is not all that women are or can be. To put it more simply, the feminist separation between the biological category woman and the social category woman is done in order to show that the social category woman is bullshit.

~~~

Men on the right do not accept the separation of the social category woman and the biological category woman. To them, humans born to the potential baby-making class should become wives and mothers, and spend their lives serving their husbands and children. In return for this lifelong servitude, they will be provided (a kind of condescending, infantalizing) approbation and (supposedly) a modicum of safety. Women who do not find a man to take them in shall serve by default as servants and whores.

Men on the left have taken the separation of the social category woman and the biological category woman to mean they can simply ignore the biological reality of female impregnatability. Females are not born to the potential baby-making class but to the facilitation-of-recreational-male-orgasm class. Our uteruses are no longer fetal incubators belonging to men; but our entire bodies are cum receptacles to be used and discarded by them. We are no longer born to whisper "you're such a good provider" and push football sized infants into the world via our vaginas, but to scream "oh my god you're so big" and be buggered to the point of anal prolapse.

It should not be shocking that some men are willing to let go of the desire to use women to father children to whom they pass on their name and wealth when we are living in a hyper-individualistic a-historical time in which very few of us end up in old age with enough to live on, let alone to pass on to future generations.

It should not be shocking that in a culture determined to focus on the purchase of short-term pleasure that we would see men turn women into disposable sexual commodities rather than long-term domestic help.

It should not be shocking that many men would furthermore expect women to continue being their voluntary emotional caretakers as well as their voluntary sexual service providers and to feel short-changed in their manhood when this expectation is not met. (See: Men's Rights Activists.)

And it should not be shocking that feminists object to all of this, to any definition of women that is dependent upon our use-value to men.

And make no mistake, this is what the social category woman comes down to: use-value to men.

~~~

Various use-values women may serve for men:


  • Heir-makers
  • Caretakers
  • Therapists
  • Maids
  • Cooks
  • Secretaries
  • Decorations
  • Orgasm facilitators
  • Objects of derision and violence (building dominant masculine identity in opposition to feminine "weakness")
  • Proxies (enforcing feminine roles on other women)


These days, the separation of the biological category woman and the social category woman in mainstream leftist spaces is not done in order to show that the social category is bullshit. It is done to erase the inconvenient physical reality that recreational sex can have long-term consequences, and to enshrine the social category of women as decorative, sexually available foils and punching bags for men.

This is done ostensibly to protect a small group of males (trans women) from other males, as if pretending they are female will protect them, as if the position of decorative sex object is one of safety, as if dependence upon use-value to one's oppressor is not the very thing feminists fight.

Women are adult human females. We exist outside the male gaze. We are not defined by our usefulness to men. Biological reality exists outside the dictates of male desire, and our social reality should do the same.


Friday, July 18, 2014

10 Signs You Might Be a TERF


"TERF" ostensibly means "trans exclusionary radical feminist." However, this term is regularly applied to people who are not radical feminists, and is often applied to trans people who defend basic feminism. So what, really, does "TERF" mean? And how can you know if you are one? I've compiled this handy list for you.

1) Do you know how babies are made?



2) Do you know how dictionaries work?



3) Do you know the dictionary definitions of these words: female/woman & male/man?



4) Do you think that having words for reproductive classes of humans is important because human reproduction is important to humanity?



5) Do you think that having words for reproductive classes of humans does NOT mean that A) humans in either class MUST fulfill their potential reproductive role and B) ALL they can do is fulfill their potential reproductive role?



6) Do you think that potential reproductive role, while an important part of our lived reality as embodied mammals, does NOT determine human personality, and thus should NOT determine social role or status?



7) Do you think that human females - girls & women - should be able to look how they want, love who they love, and pursue whatever talents they have that do not harm others?

a league of their own geena davis gif


8) Do you think that human males - boys & men - should be able to look how they want, love who they love, and pursue whatever talents they have that do not harm others?




9) Do you think that male violence against other, gender non-conforming males is A) unacceptable and B) the responsiblity of those violent men and C) not the responsibility of women?



10) Do you think it's OK for women to put women first?



CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A TERF.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Feminism and Trans Women: A Bullet Point Overview

*An updated version of this post is available at Gender Apostates.

*Further explication, screen shots, and links at The New Backlash.



Preface: a note on the word "gender"

People outside of academia commonly use the word "gender" to mean "sex class of male or female" (in contrast with the act of sexual intercourse.) Feminist theorists, however, use the word "gender" to refer to the social expectations thrust upon men and women, otherwise referred to as sex stereotypes or sex roles. Transgender identity politickers, further clouding the language, use "gender identity" to mean an innate inner feeling that overrides and in fact determines biological sex.

Always stay alert to the context in which you see the word “gender,” and ask for clarification when needed.



Reproductive Difference

1.       As the continuance of any species is important to that species, sexual reproduction is important to humanity.

2.       Human beings reproduce via the fertilization of females' eggs by males' sperm, and the work done by females to gestate fetuses and birth infants. (That work is arduous and dangerous and should always be freely chosen.) Every single human being on Earth was created in this way, as were their parents, and their parents’ parents, et cetera.

3.       Human communication via language depends upon words having shared meanings. Humans codify our shared meanings via dictionaries. Dictionaries are your friend.

4.       Dictionary definitions:
Woman: An adult human female.
Female: Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.
Man: An adult human male.
Male: Of or denoting the sex that produces gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring.

5.       The existence of infertile people does not render these definitions unusable any more than the existence of bilateral amputees means we can no longer refer to humans as bipeds. If you actually care about infertile people, good - support them rather than using them as a weapon against women's language.

6.       The existence of intersex people does not mean men can “identify as” women any more than the existence of mixed race people means white people can “identify as” black. If you actually care about intersex people, good – support them rather than using them as a weapon against women's language.

7.       The simple act of classifying human beings by sex does not assign to either sex any innate dispositions nor pre-determined behaviors and is therefore not essentialist nor determinist. (Again, dictionaries are your friend.) Knowing that women are female does not mean all we can do is have babies any more than knowing men are male means all they can do is produce sperm.

8.       Merely having words for classes of people is not only not-essentialist and not-determinist, but very obviously necessary for describing the material conditions, lived reality, oppression, and possible liberation of those people.

9.       Rendering female biology unspeakable for any reason is an act of misogyny.



Feminist Gender Analysis

1.       Female humans are expected and raised from birth to be submissive (“feminine”). Male humans are expected and raised from birth to be dominant (“masculine”). Feminists call this gender, and feminist gender analysis deconstructs the notion that there is anything “natural” about it. Gender in this context is seen instead as a social tool to naturalize women's dependence on men, and thereby ensure male access to female bodies.

2.       We are expected to signal our maleness or femaleness in various visual ways specific to our time and place, but gender is not about fabric color or hair length. Those are merely signals for others to know where we fall in the social hierarchy of male over female.

3.       Femaleness does not naturally equate to the human personality traits labeled feminine, nor does maleness naturally equate to the human personality traits labeled masculine. Human personality development should not be limited based on sex, nor, as in the case of male violence, excused because of it.

4.       In a post-gender world, all the stuff of human life would still be there, but access to it would no longer be limited by perceived reproductive potential. Boys and girls could all play with and wear whatever they like. Men and women could all explore their human personalities to the fullest. Men would not be pressured into violence nor excused for it. Men and women could share responsibility for the care of children. Feminism is by, for and about women, but would benefit anyone who longs for a more just world.

5.       Intersectionality does not threaten feminist gender analysis but expands upon it. Sex is one axis of oppression/privilege. Women are always oppressed based on sex but may have privilege based on race, class, or any other axis. Men are always privileged based on sex but may be oppressed based on race, class or any other axis.

6.   Gender non-conformity may be an axis of oppression which men wish to analyze. Women, on the other hand, are punished whether we do conform to gender expectations (as the feminine gender is about subjugation) or whether we don't. Thus men need to do their own work on this subject, although they are welcome to use feminist work as a guide!

7.      Women’s sex-based oppression matters, independent of any other oppression that can be shared by men.

8.       Feminist gender analysis is central to women's liberation and the act of deliberately suppressing, mischaracterizing or erasing it is a misogynist act.



Transsexual People

1.       Transsexual people experience a psychiatric condition, referred to as gender dysphoria, perhaps better labeled sex dysmorphia, which makes it very difficult to live in their sexed bodies. This is a painful and poorly understood condition occurring in less than one percent of the population.

2.       Sex is chromosome-deep and expressed in physical morphology beyond that of the genitals and breasts. It is not possible to change one's sex, any more than it is possible to change one's genetic ancestry. However, one can undergo hormone treatments and surgery in order to more closely resemble a member of the opposite sex, and this can help relieve sex dysmorphia.

3.      Social transition is just as important as physical transition, particularly for males who must work through their male privilege and learn what it is like to live in a sexist world while being perceived by others as women.

4.       The term “trans women” is a concession, made out of sympathy and respect, for males with sex dysmorphia who undergo physical and social transition.

5.       Transsexual people are capable of building healthy, happy lives for themselves, and do not need to be treated like they are made of glass or like their physical reality must be papered over with magical thinking.

6.       Women and trans women will have some important things in common (e.g. fear of male violence) and some important things not in common (e.g. socialization as a girl from birth, female reproductive biology). Accordingly, we will share some goals and spaces and not share others.

7.       Transsexual people deserve legal protection of their human rights to safety, education, employment, and housing.

8.       Gender non-conforming males experience violence at the hands of other males. That violence should be addressed at the source. Women are not responsible for putting male victims of male violence ahead of female victims of male violence. That expectation is grounded in the gender hierarchy. Many of us will, however, partner with anyone who wishes to help name and confront the social pandemic of male violence.

9.       As for women’s spaces, feminists have proposed compromises such as simple documentation of medical treatment for sex dysmorphia before accessing opposite-sex nude and semi-nude spaces. I refer you to Elizabeth Hungerford’s work at sexnotgender.com.

10.   Transsexual people furthermore deserve caring and effective medical treatment.

11.   It is, however, absurd to expect any woman who wants to talk about feminism to have an opinion on the proper treatment for a rare, complex and poorly understood medical condition.

12.   It is furthermore absurd to expect feminists to center males who experience a rare, complex and poorly understood medical condition; pretend reproductive difference does not exist or matter; or call themselves "cis women" in order to differentiate the 52% of the human population that is female from the less than 1% of males who experience sex dysmorphia.

13.   Most trans women are just trying to live their lives without receiving nor giving harm, and are not demanding that women jump through these absurd hoops for them.



Transgender Identity Politics

1.       It is an act of aggression to take away oppressed people's language.

2.       This applies to women, and also to transsexual people.

3.       Transsexual people experience sex dysmorphia and therefore undergo physical and social transition. Transgender identity politickers, however, dismiss the necessity of any experience of sex dysmorphia OR transition to claim the label "transgender" or "trans."

4.       According to transgender identity politickers, any male who simply states he “feels like a woman” is 1) “trans” and 2) a woman and also 3) female and also 4) has always been female, 5) because he says so. Such is the power of their special snowflake feelings, or "gender identity."

5.       To be clear, someone claiming the label “transgender” or “trans” could be transsexual, or they could be a part-time cross-dresser. You can’t know and you are not allowed to ask.

6.       According to transgender identity politickers, if a male person says he “feels like a woman” then his penis is female. If a male person says he “feels like a woman” than all blatant displays of male privilege and aggression no longer count as such.

7.       Transsexual people who object to this colonization of their language and experience are labeled "truscum" and dismissed. Women who object to this colonization of their language and experience are labeled “TERFs” and dismissed. Both "truscum" and "TERFs" are deemed fair game for violent threats and organized silencing campaigns.

8.       Transgender identity politics are thus not about protecting transsexual people, but about pushing the idea of brain sex (there is a way women innately "feel," and feeling that way makes you a woman) - dressed up in social justice language.

9.       A group cannot have boundaries against their oppressors if they are not allowed to define the basis of their oppression. By erasing the material reality of female bodies, transgender identity politics enable men to destroy women's boundaries, under cover of political correctness. 

10.    Furthermore, "gender identity” cannot be defined without reliance on sex stereotypes. This is because, once de-coupled from sexual reproductive capacity, human personality is just human personality.

11.    Transgender identity politickers cling to sexed labels for their personality because they fetishize women’s oppression. Autogynephilia is a whole big thing that will not fit into this overview, but:

12.   When you look at behavior rather than doublespeak, it becomes clear that transgender identity politickers equate “feeling like a woman” with the MRA myth of the sexually powerful woman.

13.   Feminists know that relying on one’s attractiveness to the objectifying male gaze in order to access power - in a misogynistic rape culture, rather than a fairy tale - is not a means of attaining safety or happiness, but a dangerous, no-win game. Therefore we have every right to object when that game is enshrined, by transgender identity politickers, as the essence of womanhood.



How did we get here?

1.       The use of transsexual people as cat's paws by misogynists on the Left, in order to push the regressive idea of ladybrain, is both cruel and ingenious.

2.       Leftists will naturally feel empathy for anyone with a painful psychiatric condition, yet conversely feel an equally natural aversion to major surgery on healthy genitals, leading to an aversion to considering this condition too closely. Combined with their pride in a high "disgust tolerance" (central to Leftist identity) this will lead them to the knee-jerk projection that anyone questioning trans politics is operating out of a low disgust tolerance (labeled "transphobia"), and prompt the Leftist to publicly scold that questioner as a means to prove their (imperfect) righteousness.

3.       If you can push a Leftist past this point, they will still have to confront the idea of larger systems of power outside of individual "identity," especially systems of power based on sex (what feminist theorists call "gender.")

4.       This point of existential crisis -between individualistic identity politics and radical class analysis- renders the Leftist vulnerable to ideological totalism, at which transgender identity politickers excel: Nevermind that difficult thinking stuff, our magical "truth" is all there is. Brain sex transcends mere science, all questioners can be renounced and declared sub-human, thought-terminating cliches ("trans women are women") are all the effort required. Just relax and submit.

5.       Another benefit reaped by proponents of brain sex who use transsexual people as their human shields: when people *do* get enough of the absurdity of transgender identity politics, the backlash is pointed towards transsexual people. And while some transsexual people have gone along with the ladybrain narrative, others have not; some have even bravely fought against it. Regardless, the enemy is not transsexual people, it is male supremacists of any stripe (including but not limited to men who think they get to re-define what "woman" and "female" mean.)



Why does it matter?

1.       Transgender identity politics (“anyone who feels like a woman is a woman”) are finding unprecedentedly rapid acceptance in the form of gender identity laws, which override sex-based protections for women.

2.       The language women need to describe their biological and social reality is under attack.

3.       Female-only spaces are under attack.

4.       Lesbians are labeled bigots for not accepting penis as female.

5.       Gender non-conforming children are being referred for life-altering medical treatment, when most of them will simply grow up to be homosexual.

6.       The valid concerns transsexual people have about medical treatment, safety, and institutional discrimination are drowned out by fetishistic transvestites performing histrionic hair-tearing about pronouns.

7.       And anyone who objects to any of this is labeled a hateful bigot.



In Conclusion

1.       Do not submit to the ideological totalism of transgender identity politics. I plead with you to use your brain, which is an organ of cognition, not sexual reproduction.

2.       Progressive causes should not require the abandonment of critical thought, the emptying of language, or the knee-jerk monstering of dissenters.

3.       Misogynists on the left should stop using transsexual people as a weapon against women and feminism.

4.       Feminists who see this happening should remember that transgender identity politics are about male supremacy, not transsexual people. Male supremacy is the problem, not transsexual people.

5.       Personality is not innately tied to sex, no matter which way the arrow goes. The notion that reproductive potential determines personality is sexist. The notion that personality determines sex is simply ludicrous.

6.       Women are female people, and both words matter there. Female, and people. We are not combination mommy-maid-whores created at the plastic doll factory, neither objects for sale nor costumes to wear. We are not the mere absence or malfunction of maleness, as we have all our own parts and all our own experiences. We are human beings born with female reproductive systems, in a world that assigns lifelong subjugation to that fact. We do not have to choose for our sex to mean everything or nothing, any more than men do. Our bodies are our own; not alienable property nor marks of shame, but integral parts of our human experience.

7.       We'd all be much better served if, instead of this constant, absurd, power-blind deconstruction of "What is a woman?" we asked "What are we willing to tolerate from men?"

8.       It is vital that "man" comes to mean *only* adult human male, with thousands of ways to inhabit a healthy, happy male body, none dependent on the exploitation or bullying of others.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Use Your Words. Name The Penis Problem.


TRIGGER WARNING: Your penis is not that impressive.

When we were kids, my brother was obsessed with becoming a ninja. He was also very clear about girls being incapable of becoming ninjas. As time went on he also wanted to be an Air Force pilot (no girls allowed) and an engineer (no girls allowed). He was backed up in these (and many other) sexist notions by our parents.

Now, my brother was not a moron - he was a normal kid. He did not have any outstanding athletic ability or sharp eyesight or hand-eye coordination or math skills. But he did have a penis, signifying strength and capability. Therefore, in my parents' eyes, his dreams -no matter how unconnected with reality- were worthy of indulgence.

I on the other hand was a gifted kid, and in my family this was not acceptable. Where my brother had a penis, signifying strength and capability, I had a vagina, signifying helplessness and servitude. So my dreams, no matter how connected to reality, were worthy only of derision.

Most importantly, my giftedness could not be allowed to make my brother feel bad about himself. Therefore, his dreams and potentialities and accomplishments needed to be raised up, and mine played down.

There was also violence, of course, which I won't get into just now. This is is NOT a pity party. My parents struggled to do the best they could given their own sexist upbringings and their own mental health problems, which were exacerbated by financial stresses. And my brother was just a kid. I'm very happy in my current life and both my parents and my brother have come a long way vis a vis "the battle of the sexes."

But I'm blogging today about penis-havers.

I may have felt like an unwanted prisoner in my own home, because of my sex. But my brother was a princeling in that same home, because of his sex. How is any boy who is raised like that supposed to feel about his genitalia, about what peeny+balls means?




Some trans activists and their zombie-righteous allies want to take the words girl and boy, woman and man, and even male and female, away from us. Reproductive categorization of humans is *so* old fashioned. Or silly. Or bigoted. A penis means only whatever a particular penis-haver says it means! Why would you ever not want a naked penis in your vicinity? Yadda.

Thus, as a brief thought exercise I'll use SPH and OPH (sperm-producing humans and ova-producing humans) instead.

You can attempt to derail via the tiny percentage of people born intersex, or with cries of sensitivity for the infertile—it does not matter, because this statement still stands:

SPH control the world. Not just the “global south.” Everywhere.

Politics, law, law enforcement, the military, commerce, media, medicine, science, technology, even the arts … all dominated by SPH.

Why?

Either you think SPH are naturally superior to OPH in all those fields, in which case fuck off, or you think SPH have been unfairly elevated and OPH have been oppressed, in which case kindly stop pretending that genitalia doesn't matter.

Peeny+balls =(descriptive) male =(prescriptive) privilege over females. We don't rectify male privilege by making it impossible to name.



This constant battle over the clear use of basic vocabulary makes me wonder – while I’m fighting for the right to name the basis of my oppression, what have the oppressors achieved – what are they effectively hiding?



You want to make it impossible to discuss the socio-political consequences of being born one sex or the other? Hmmm...

THEN I’MA TALK ABOUT PENISES.

I'M JUST CONTRARY LIKE THAT. 

Do world leaders use their penises to perform diplomacy? Maybe they use their penises as microphones when making important speeches? Do lawmakers sign bills with their penises? Do police and military men actually use their penises as guns? Are businessmen joining important conference calls via the Bluetooth in their penises? Maybe bankers discuss pie charts using their combination penis/laser pointers. Do doctors perform surgery with their penis-scalpels? Are artists painting with their penis-brushes? Et penis cetera?


No?

Yet all these fields are dominated by people-with-penises.

MEANINGLESS COINKYDINK?

The vast majority of people who identify themselves and are identified by others as talented in those fields just *happened* to be born with trouserworms and undernuts?

I THINK NOT.

When I worked as a paralegal and clients would try to refuse to work with a female, was that because they were looking for someone who could use their penis to hit the tab bar when toggling between all those computer form fields? It was certainly not because they wanted someone who "identified" as competent, because I did that. They simply assumed competence attached to penises, and lucky "cis" me, they could assume I did not have one of those!

People born with penises+testicles are raised by their families and encouraged via media, merchandisers, schools, workplaces and the general public to think of themselves as both superior to and entitled to the servitude of people born without penises+testicles (which is to say, with ovaries+uteruses+vaginas+clitorises, as there's not actually an endless sucking void betwixt our legs.)

And I posit we’re disallowed from discussing this fact so nakedly not because it is silly or gross or hurtful - but because naked peeny+balls is… hilariously stupid, as far as a symbol of superiority goes:


[Yes, through millennia of rape men have made the phallus a symbol of intimate violence. I do not and shall not ever denigrate any woman's negative reaction to penises. But it is only via men's lifetimes of sex-based social entitlement and women's lifetimes of sex-based social subjugation that rape can stand as a (for all intents and purposes, accepted) cultural practice. And if men insist on using their penises as weapons, it's about time we women learned to both mock and SMASH cock. This video demonstrates how we should respond to rape, AFAIC (content note: graphic violence against penises).]


Seriously? I'm supposed to *ENVY* that? Or, alternatively, as porn would have it - immediately drop to my knees to worship it?

Look, I'm heterosexual. I've been quite fond of several penises in my lifetime. But: Oh hai, you can pee standing up, so clearly you should be the boss of me...?

Seriously?

Let me share my favorite crotch-related story. I was dating this fella, and when we would rassle, he would say "Darling, do you really think you could stop me?" The first time he said this, my blood ran cold. I froze up, and warned him, "Don't ever say that to me again." The second time he said that, I responded, "Fair warning: god may have given you superior upper body strength, but he also put your genitals on the outside. Don't make me prove I can stop you." (God here is figurative, OK?) The third time he uttered that vile, threatening phrase, I brought my knee up and lightly tapped his balls. He fell to the ground and rolled around in pain. It was the most pleasure his crotch had ever given me.

I do NOT tell this story to shame any woman who was not able to utilize this technique to escape sexual assault, although I know some opportunistic victim-blamers may take it that way. I tell this story because it is important to note that this man, a self-identified Leftist who supposedly cared about me, felt such impunity in "playfully" threatening me, even after repeated warnings. It *never* seriously occurred to him that I would *ever* harm his magical, sacred male parts.

Just as patriarchists, ever experts at reversals, would have us associate shame and weakness with the female organs that CREATE HUMAN LIFE, they would also have us associate male organs - frightfully vulnerable as they are - with unassailable power. And apparently these days, indescribable power. Do not name g-d. G-d is whatever g-d says. Submit. Do not look behind the curtain/zipper. DO NOT SAY VOLDEMORT'S NAME.


I will bet you $100 these people have penises.

It should not be a shock that we end up here...
.
...OR HERE.

Whenever the person on the left, below, tells the person on the right that having been born with a penis entitles him to dominate her – whether via economic control, or threats of violence, or the emptying of her language, including her right to say "no," (just for examples) – he is being an obnoxiously entitled sexist pig. And he is entitled because he was raised and groomed to be so. Because of his genitalia. 


And that is as inescapably true as it is inescapably absurd.

Use your words. Name the penis problem.

The human penis is:

1) the MALE organ of sex & peeing.
2) Out of context, rather unimpressive (sorry not sorry).
3) In context:
     A) a lifelong lightning rod of unearned (and most often, unexamined) privilege, and
     B) a universal marker of membership in a violently oppressive class.

The good news, women, is that every time you stubbornly insist on seeing, naming and analyzing male privilege, you are metaphorically punching patriarchy right in the crotch.

In conclusion, might I suggest that every time a male brings his #unexpectedpenis into a space clearly designated as female-only, he leaves with a stump?* 


*Many women will be uncomfortable with this statement. I do not like violence. However, if you take away the language I use to fight my oppression? I will pick up an axe.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Dear Janet Mock, I have a lot of ALL CAPS for you


Hi, Janet!

You are right - I never had to tell anyone I’m “cis!” I was born, a doctor looked at my labia and told my parents “It’s a girl!” AND THE LIFELONG PERVASIVE SEXISM IN MY FAMILY, SCHOOL, WORK AND PERSONAL LIFE BEGAN! Thanks for opening my eyes to how lucky I am to have skipped the “invasive” questioning and gone STRAIGHT TO THE RELENTLESS “REDUCTION OF MY IDENTITY TO MY GENITALS."

Just exactly what do you think sexism is? Female humans are 1) visually differentiated as such starting from birth so 2) we can be groomed as second class citizens. The method and degree of grooming will vary based on other factors such as geographic location, economic class, race, religion, health, et cetera -- but in any case there is the inescapable physical reality of femaleness, the all-pervasive requirement that said femaleness be visually signaled at all times, and the immediate expectations of others in response to that visual signal, of a striving towards helpless beauty and loving servitude.

Hey Janet, you know those white people who complain about affirmative action because poor white folk have a hard time of it too? Economic class is extremely important, and our discomfort in addressing commonalities of economic struggle across race is a problem. But those white people are still incorrect. They are incorrect because they do not know what it is like to grow up not-white in a white supremacist culture. To shine a constant strobing light of Otherness to the Powers That Be. 

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JANET? MEN – no matter how difficult they find masculinity -- DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO GROW UP FEMALE IN A MALE SUPREMACIST CULTURE.

I wish you would’ve asked an articulate feminist about her experiences growing up as a “cis” female, because you and all your identity-zombie followers need a blast of some basic honest truth.

First of all, I’m not a “cis” woman, I’M A WOMAN. AN ADULT HUMAN FEMALE. I do not need to qualify my membership in a basic biological category that applies to more than half the human population because less than one percent of males experience sex dysmorphia. I grant those males the term “transwoman,” and that is all I’m granting.

I’m a woman – a white woman born to a working class American family. A less happy accident of birth might have seen me killed for simply being born female, or married off at age 12. Based on nothing but my “physicality.”

But I was born to a white working class American family – So I was lucky enough to grow up merely doing all the chores while my brother was coddled. Being punished for outdoing him in any way. Sleeping with a kitchen knife under my pillow after checking the lock on my door one-two-three-four-five times (thrice over, and this is how OCD grows) because he was armed -- I unwrapped dolls at Christmas, he unwrapped weapons -- and bound to prove the dominance of his penis.

Yes, his penis. His genitalia. That Which All Of A Sudden Is None Of Anybody’s Business Even Though We Can’t Even Talk To Or About Babies Or Dogs If We Don’t Know Their Sex. My brother and I might as well have been raised in different households. And we both knew the reason why: Penis wins over vagina.

So yes: Lucky. Lucky to be told at age eight that all any boy wanted was to get into my pants and ruin my life, and three years later to be asked what was wrong with me that I wasn’t dating. Which pretty much sums up a woman’s position, huh.

I got my period at age eleven and hid it from my mother for two years. She hit me when she found out. I was hit for any and all infractions, of course, and this was not an unusual experience in my peer group. Not all the world is an upper-class helicopter-parent preciousized playground. I bound my budding breasts with ace bandages whilst she hung newly-purchased Wonderbras from my chair at the kitchen table. 1. Sex will ruin your life! 2, Why aren’t you sexy enough? When life gives you lemons: stuff ‘em in your bra. L-O-L.

Though I was thin I’d never have the sexy body of the 25 year old beauty queens playing teens on TV. With puberty came not only the painful menstruation and cystic acne of PCOS but the intensification of ulcerative colitis and the humiliating gassy-belly and speed-waddles to the girls’ bathroom between classes. I gave in to the persistent existence of my boobs only to have the most popular DJ on the radio announce with a smile in his voice that small breasts such as mine were deformities to be cured with surgery. I had pale skin that would never tan – though I laid out under a baking sun every day for two months straight the summer before high school in a valiant effort, my only reward was burn after burn – and black leg hair that shown through my translucent epidermis even when I shaved twice a day.

Thus being female and “becoming a woman” – a process at which I felt hurtled against my will, a black hole in space or a meat grinder in a horror movie – was always bound up with feeling “trapped in the wrong body”. I felt not only hideously ugly but hilariously so, like a tiny cartoon of simultaneous (unwilling) sexual availability and greasy un-lovableness. I would lie in bed night after night dreaming of miracle cures that would smooth the constant eruptions on my face or allow me to finally achieve tan, smooth legs tucked into perfectly white Keds (I won’t get into the self-tanner misadventures). Buying a bra that fits is a dream that continues to elude me.

Looking back at photographs now, I was perfectly normal looking. Sometimes even cute. This doesn’t change the fact that for something like ten years looking in a mirror was a physically and psychically wrenching experience for me.

...

Though I didn’t have beauty (or couldn’t see it) I did have brains. My parents could downplay my accomplishments and make fun of my aspirations all day long-- my teachers always encouraged me. Until middle school, that is.

BECAUSE PUBERTY DOESN’T JUST BRING BIOLOGICAL UNPLEASANTNESS. IT’S WHEN THE SOCIAL SHIT REALLY HITS THE SOCIAL FAN.

Suddenly I was fighting teachers and administrators to take math classes or join math club. Asking boys in my classes to pose questions on my behalf, in order to receive answers rather than snickers and snide remarks. Working summer jobs in food service or office support where sexual harassment was as common as winking condescension. I gave up math and science for the humanities and social sciences and when I graduated from a top college with top honors, my parents wrote asking if I was finally ready to settle down, work as a secretary and rent a trailer until I could find a husband.

As it turns out, I would need to work my (female) ass to the bone in jobs that paid me less to do more and better work than my male colleagues for several years before going that route. I married. I threw myself into wifedom, and onto the sword of step-motherhood. I thought if I proved my love through daily self-sacrifice and creative, intelligent acts of support and nurturance I’d be rewarded with affection and safety. I got condescension, resentment and poverty. After three years of misery, I left.

More underpaid, overworked jobs in blatantly sexist workplaces. My net worth? Zero. My self-worth? Less. I became a semi-famous writer’s secret lover. It wasn’t exciting, it was crushing. I was eminently fuckable but not high-status enough for public declaration. I moved away, tried to start over again, saw it over and over: no matter how hard and well I worked, the only reward was more work. (I was even told – to my face – by an HR professional – that my salary was meant to supplement a husband’s income. This was in 2006.)

I met another writer. Flirted with S&M. It brought the relief of temporary self-erasure. That was the most pleasure I experienced during that time: a few minutes of blissful non-existence via the blatant intimate hatred of a supposed “lover.” [Followed of course by an STD and unwanted pregnancy. Almost like biology matters.] This chapter drew to a close when it became clear he expected me to follow him across the country assisting with his career in return for… vagina-tearing sex and casual infidelity. Because that was all I was – a sweet, supportive sex doll. Not my own human being.

Life is not a romance novel; my writer-lover was not a tortured hero. He was just an entitled asshole taking advantage of the huge holes in my heart and my complete lack of hope in my future. He found me attractive and knew I was smart and extremely hard-working, and it made all the sense in the world to him that this qualified me to be a handy cumrag and (unpaid) personal secretary. SUCH ARE THE SPOILS OF FEMININITY.

...

It was a female friend who eventually bailed me out of debt and a married male friend who eventually set me on the path towards a decent job. My happily ever after is a 9-5er with a little house and some pets all my own. Decent health insurance and a 401k.

BUT WE’RE SEEPED IN A DIFFERENT NARRATIVE, AREN’T WE? FROM BIRTH. THE PRINCESS MYTH.

If you’re beautiful enough, pure, and sweet – birds will dress you in the morning and a prince will rescue you and all will be happily ever after. Of course, these days you need to be eager to take the prince’s cum in your face, but – details.

IT’S ALL LIES.

THERE IS NO RESCUE.

BEAUTY IS NOT ONLY IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER – IT GUARANTEES NOTHING. CERTAINLY NOT LOVE.

DESIRE IS NOT LOVE. LOVE IS NOT RESPECT. NEITHER DESIRE NOR LOVE IS SAFETY.

AND SELF-ABNEGATING LOVE BRINGS ONLY SELF-ABNEGATION.

WOMEN: BASED ON THE GENITALS WITH WHICH WE WERE BORN, WE SPEND OUR LIVES TRYING TO WIN A GAME. THE GAME IS CRUEL. THE GAME IS RIGGED. AND THE PRIZE IS: NOTHING. LIES. DISGUST.

MULTIPLE CHOICES FOR SELF ERASURE.

AND NOW WE ARE BEING TOLD THAT PrincessStripperWife IS NOT ONLY A VALID PATHWAY TOWARDS HAPPINESS FOR WOMEN, IT IS THE DEFINITION OF WOMAN. MEN’S FANTASY OF WOMANHOOD: THE DEFINITION OF WOMAN. SAY IT OR YOU’RE A BAD FEMINIST NAZI WHORE WHO SHOULD DIE.

AND I AM SO TIRED OF FIGHTING REARGUARD ACTIONS.

“Adult human female” is a biological category with important social ramifications. This statement is in no way phobic of any-fucking-thing. It is not essentialist, determinist or any other –ist word some ignoramuses choose to mis-use because hey, actual dictionary definitions are so fasc-ist, bro, pass the doob. Feminists did not invent human reproduction, we did not cause anyone to be born with one organ system or another, we did not assign sexist presumptions to those organ systems, and we are not responsible for somehow curing male dysmorphia through elaborate self-erasing games of play-pretend.

AND NOW TO MY FELLOW FEMINISTS: CAN THIS BE IT? CAN WE STOP ARGUING WITH ASSHOLES AND FOOLS? BECAUSE I HONESTLY DO NOT CARE IF SOME DELUDED MISOGYNIST SCHMUCK THINKS CHASING THE PRINCESS STRIPPER DREAM WILL BRING HIM HAPPINESS. I DON’T WANT TO INDULGE THOSE ENTITLED SCHMUCKS ANY MORE. IF WE HAVE TO MARCH ON WASHINGTON FOR THE RIGHT TO DEFINE “WOMAN” AS A MATERIAL REALITY RATHER THAN A MALE FANTASIE, LET’S DO THAT AND BE DONE.

MEANWHILE:

WE NEED TO GET BUSY TELLING GIRLS THE TRUTH. PUSHING BACK AGAINST THE PHOTOSHOPPED LIES AND PORNIFIED HATE. PREPARING THEM FOR SAFE, HEALTHY, REWARDING ADULTHOODS, RATHER THAN "REDEFINING REALNESS" AS A CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, AESTHETICALLY PLEASING FEMININE FACADE OVER PAINFUL, DELICATE LIES.

Let's
Get
REAL.


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Cis Privilege My Womanly Ass



Ostensibly meaning "on the same side as," "cis" is what trans activists label anyone who is "not trans." Supposedly, "cis" people have "cis privilege" over trans people. This definition necessarily hangs on the underlying definition of "trans," of course.

If "cis" means not-transsexual, that's over 99% of people. We do not need a special label for this. 

If "cis" means something more like "comfortable with how others treat you based on their assumptions about your sex" then this showcases a mind-boggling ignorance of women's lives.




First of all, women are people, not men's fantasies.


Male fantasies of womanhood. 


Actual women may be: disabled, lesbian, poor, harried, fat, plain, old, et cetera-
Oh let's just sum up: three dimensional humans, UNSEXXXY
[P.S. even beautiful healthy financially comfortable white women experience sexism]



Secondly, just because it's one of the examples of supposed privilege that steams me the most, here are just two examples of my experiences with medical care as a "cis" female: 


--When I was 16 I had to go to the emergency room with abdominal pains that were so intense I truly feared I was dying. I was a virgin. There was no way I was pregnant. I know now that I was experiencing a horrible flare up of ulcerative colitis. However, because I was a 16 year old girl, none of the medical staff on duty paid any attention when I said it was my gut that was the issue. They wheeled me into an exam room, thrust my feet into some stirrups and slammed a speculum into my tiny, virginal vagina, causing me to sit up and scream in pain. When they finally did accept that I was not pregnant (I had to be held down for the gynecological exam to be completed,) I was wheeled back to a waiting area and left there for about an hour, during which time I endured several painful bowel movements, and started to feel a bit better. I was sent home with a diagnosis of “gastroenteritis” and an aspirin.

I would have to see three more specialists over the next ten years before I found a doctor (a woman, natch) who scheduled me for a colonoscopy and finally gave me a diagnosis and some medication. The two doctors I saw before that (both male) told me the pain was all in my head and that I just needed to stop stressing out so much. Because they couldn’t take me seriously as a patient, I spent years suffering needlessly and also put myself at much greater risk of colon cancer.

--About fifteen years ago I started to feel an unpleasant pressure on my bladder, becoming more painful with time. I went to several specialists who could not diagnose what the problem was. Finally a gynecologist mentioned that I had two rather large fibroids growing on my uterus. 

So much tumor, er, excuse me, privilege.

I again had to go through three doctors before I found one who would 1) confirm that one of these growths was indeed pressing on my bladder and 2) talk to me about removing the fibroids only, for purposes of my physical comfort rather than fertility, because the first two doctors were of the opinion, “Well if you aren’t going to have kids let’s just take everything out.” (Radical hysterectomy.)

That’s right, have a very painful surgery with a long recovery time, which may or may not affect your ability to ever have an orgasm again, which will definitely require you to go on hormone treatment to avoid menopause in your mid 30s, because why not, if you’re not using those body parts to fulfill your role of carrying a man’s child. I think it’s very unlikely that a man seeking treatment for a medical problem related to his reproductive system would be told "Hell, let's just take it all off, if you're not going to fulfill your role of fathering a woman's child."

Anyhoo, it took two more years to find a job that provided the kind of health insurance that would cover removal of those fuckers. Well, aside from a $1500 deductible. 


Just a few of the conditions we get to take to SEXIST DOCTORS




I'm tired of talking at brick walls, so I'm going to to do the rest of this blogpost in jpegs.

Topics will include #cis female childhood privilege, beauty privilege, safety privilege, romance privilege, bodily autonomy privilege, and representation privilege.





























IN CONCLUSION
WOMEN ARE NOT PRIVILEGED FOR KNOWING AND ACCEPTING THAT THEY ARE ADULT HUMAN FEMALES
PLEASE STOP THIS NONSENSE
IT'S GIVING ME A MOST UNWOMANLY EYE TWITCH